Let us introduce ourselves as The Great Indian Rape Factory. We are famous for our infamous incidents of rape across the length and breadth of the land sir.
Sir, I would like to point out that we rank quite high amongst the favourite rape destinations of the world. We are very open minded sir, and generally make do with anything that moves and sports adequate insertion mechanisms. But the common favourite is people of the fairer sex.
We promote our grand rape events across print, electronic and digital media. Deliverables also include on ground activities in the form of debates at tea stalls, public transport etc, candle light walks etc.
We have a cooperative populace which, as you correctly assume sir, cooperates. Everybody is part of the fun, irrespective of being male or female.
They generally distance themselves from the events and term them to be deplorable. Most of them, especially males however google for hidden tapes of similar acts. Some of them are different and are fans of the ‘Abbas Mustan genre’ of ‘kahaani mein twist’. They look for instances when the raped might have provoked the rapist(s). There are some others who think really deep sir. They write facebook updates, short stories, poems and blog posts to express their as-deep-as-the-ocean-floor anguish. The next couple of facebook updates, short stories, poems and blog posts from these people generally deal with Manchester United, Sunny Leone, Shopping lists, restaurants, discs and probably Shah Rukh Khan.
We are a democracy sir, and appoint ministers who state our events sometimes as normal, sometimes as rare, sometimes as rarest of rare, depending upon how many artists were involved in the penetration bit and the wear and tear suffered by the recipient.
You will be elated to know that our laws are very liberal. A sixteen year old prodigy can freely rape and mutilate and then be treated like a child, complete with a ‘juvenile’ trial since he is not legally an adult. We also allow free food and lodging to our artists for minimum ten years post the event, at conveniently located government residences that are known as jails.
Keeping in mind our progress and rise as the Great Indian Rape Factory, we have carefully converted uneventful places into eventful ones sir. Delhi was always very enterprising. It is after our headquarter. Metros such as Mumbai and Calcutta that were lagging behind have been put on a fast track programme. You can refer to the Mumbai event that took place two days back as a testimony to our progress.
We sincerely believe that we can be a fitting venue for your annual rams-in-heat festival. We have the right infrastructure and people for the event and we are sure that we’ll provide you with a spectacle that you have witnessed never before!
Looking forward to a positive feedback from your end.
Mr. Barbar Balatkar